I'll Shed No Tears Over You
by Lamanth
Summary: ONE SHOT – He said it wasn’t right, he said that her tears shouldn’t fall over him. But everyone needs to show their grief somehow. [KaiMimi]


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Beyblade or any of its characters, merchandise, TV rights, ect… (I think you get the point.) Nor do I own the song 'Angels' by Within Temptation.

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Summery 

ONE SHOT – Kai/Mimi. He said it wasn't right, that her tears shouldn't fall over him. But everyone needs to show their grief somehow. Like all of my work this is just something that happened to float through the empty void inside my head. Like it or hate it please R and R as honest opinions are always welcomed.

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Lamb: Hey guys this is the 50th piece of work that I've posted! 

**Muse:** Get over yourself all ready.

Lamb: Fine, fine, fine. I'm not going to let you ruin my mood.

_Dedi:_ Muse leave her along! This is a big thing for Lamb so just shut up for once.

Lamb: Aww thanks Dedi! glomps Dedi and Muse goes off to sulk 

_Dedi:_ grins Anyway this fic, which is Kai/Mimi. I got to give it to you Lamb you are consistent if nothing else. Anyway this fic is dedicated to everyone who has and will review any of our work.

Lamb: Thank you muchly Dedi. As always sorry for any bad spelling and if you feel the need to through thing at me please wait until I've hidden behind the sofa kay!?

M**use: **returns from sulking On with the fic!

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_Goodbye my lover,_

_Goodbye my friend,_

_You have been the one,_

_You have been the one for me,

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_

**Shed No Tears Over You**

The house is hushed save for the murmuring of a group of people stood in the front room and music coming very faintly from one of the upper rooms. The air is heavy with a feeling of saddens that seems impossible to put into words. Not two hours ago they were scattering the ashes of one of their closest friends to the four winds. And though it is only one who has gone the many who are left behind all feel, for some inexplicable reason, very alone.

Moving out of the front room and along the hallway to the stairs the strains of music become louder. On the second floor, it is possible to tell that the lilting vocals and heavy bass are coming from the other side of a white painted door. Inside, the room seems cold and empty, the grey daylight fillers in through the window spattered with raindrops. Within Temptation's Angels is being played on the sound system in corner, the song seems to fit the mood of the rooms' occupant. Sad, but also impassioned and beautiful.

To the petite 19 year-old female sat at the desk the lyrics seem to be talking to her, both comforting and mocking. Ming-Ming's small figure is clad in black trousers and a fitted black jacket that makes her fair skin seem chalk white. Normally bouncy aqua-blue hair has been pulled back into a tight knot at the nape of her neck. The bangs that usually frame her face have also been clipped back, making her chocolate brown eyes stand out even more in a face that doesn't quite seem big enough for them.

The desk is bare save for her journal, a vase of flowers and two beyblades. The vase is slim and elegant made of clear glass with a fluted neck, perfectly designed to show off the three long stemmed roses inside to best effect. Two are a pure snow white without a single blemish to mar their rich velvety petals. The third is her rose. Full bloomed and sweet scented, petals heavy and curving outwards, a soothing pale purple in colour. Two beyblades lie on the smooth desk surface one either side of the vase. One an intense royal blue, with a blazing phoenix in the centre. But she is unsure of how long he will stay there, waiting for a master who will never again call to him. In the other a white winged fox with three tails nestles in a blade in a striking mix of black and aqua. Kai's gift to her when she had confessed how much she had hated the creamy gold blade that Boris had given her to use.

With small delicate fingers she plays with a blue and gold fountain pen. She wants to cry. There is a hard lump in her throat that almost chokes her and a tightening in her chest that makes it had to breath. The pain in her heart is so intense that it hurts like a physical wound. She wants to cry, but she can't. It seems wrong. There's a voice in the back of her mind and it's saying: No tears, don't cry. He told you not to cry for him. You can't cry for Kai Hiwatari.

Robbed of tears she looks to the only form of release that left to her; words. To live and to write are two very different things, but sometimes you need to write so you can continue to live. With words she can be in control, and she feels that even if they can't lessen her pain than maybe they can at least help her to remember why she had to feel it.

Elegant fingers pull the top of the expensive looking pen still held in her hands. She pulls the black leather bound book towards her and opens if to a fresh page and begins to write. It is her journal, her memory, her way to keep from forgetting.

The margins are littered with lyrics that have suddenly come to her when the muse struck. Single words, that captured and entranced her imagination, lye in-circled and underlined haphazardly. Her life is trapped and pressed between these pages. And if you chose to read it, it would tell both at once everything and nothing about the one who wrote it.

_19th December, 2006_

_Dear M,_

_The days are now cold and empty. It seems that the sun has even ceased to shin. The wind howls around the house like a banshee and I am reminded of the stories. That a banshee would cry to foretell the death of someone in the house, but it is to late. Death has been and clamed his victim and now I am alone. I scattered his ashes to the four winds and felt some part of myself flout away with them._

_What I write now is not for others but for myself, to help me remember. So that what we had doesn't become lost and fettered in the minds of other people. I fear that I will become to caught in my rage and loneliness and in time that I will forget that there was someone one loved me. The really and essential me. It's said that everyone has someone, that there is a soul mate for all of us and all we have to do is find him or her. But you see it's not always that easy. I found my soul mate, my one true love and then cruelly fate snatched him away._

_They said we were wrong and that it would work. They tried to tell us 'don't you see? You're too different.' But we didn't listen, we didn't want to know. And I am glad we didn't. For it was good, we were good. When we were together it was as if the world couldn't touch us. We were two halves of the same being or at least that is how it seemed to me._

_I was 15 when first we met, and I was enthralled from the first moment I laid eyes on him. Love at first sight is not something I truly believe in, but from first sight something about Kai Hiwatari captured imagination. Throughout the Justice 5 tournament and for a further three months after my feelings matured and deepened but I still said nothing, afraid of rejection and of what would happen if Kai ever found out._

_But he did. And rejection was the last thing I needed to have worried about. I can't pretend that the last four years have been smooth sailing, we spent almost as much time fighting as we did anything else. But even when we fought I still knew that he loved me, and I have never loved anyone so much in all my life._

_But then things began to go wrong. It started off as the occasional headache nothing to worry about, but they became more regularly and increased in severity. We went to doctors when other things began to present themselves. But they could tell us nothing. The pain Kai could cope with also the weakness he could deal with, but the clumsiness was hard for him. If I had to pick a single word to describe Kai it would be proud. I will never forget the look on his face when a glass slipped from his hands and smashed at his feet, for the third time that day. The humiliation in his heated crimson eyes. He wouldn't talk to me for almost three days._

_I remember the first time his legs gave out from under him and he collapsed at my feet. Fear and panic but above all the anger in his eyes will stay with me for all my days. The anger at showing a single sign of weakness._

_I still don't know how we got through those days, the days when everything was so … so full of despair. All our questions and no one to answer. Every symptom point to a brain tumour, but every test and scan came back clear. I think I could have copped with it even, it was the not knowing and the being unable to do a thing to help that I couldn't stand. At times I felt I just wanted to scream, the only person that I loved was suffering and I was unable to do a thing to help him._

_And then one day it happened, the miracle or so it seemed at the time. Hah, the miracle. People are always a little confused in the case of miracles. When someone is saved from certain death by a strange concatenation of circumstances, they say that's a miracle. But of course if someone is **killed** by a strange chain of events - the oil spilled just **there,** the safety fence broken just** there **- that must **also** be a miracle. Just because it's not nice doesn't mean it's not miraculous._

_But my miracle, our miracle. A voice with a suggestion. Tala with a name, a doctor. A genetic specialist in Russia, a man who had worked at the Abby before the Biovolt Corporation collapsed. The mixture of hope and fear that swirled in my stomach in the weeks that followed, at times I could barely stand dew to the churning in my gut. The flight to Russia is nothing more than a blur in my mind all I can remember is the landing, and walking out into a world of cold that it chilled you to the bone._

_We were there for three weeks. Kai under went more tests than I can name and they two of them, Kai and the Doctor would talk for hours. It seems funny now but I can't even remember his name, in my mind he will always be the Doctor. But in the end it did no good._

_I remember sitting there, across the desk from him Kai beside me. I held his hand in both of mine, he was so cold. His skin felt like ice under my touch. I sat and traced swirling patterns on the back of his hand with my fingertips, while the Doctors words drifted into my mind. Gene splicing. Unstable DNA. Brake down of molecular structure. Genetic modification. And then there were more. Trials not as expected. Unsatisfactory results. Disappointing specimens. Project terminated._

_Words. So many words. I didn't know what most of them meant but I knew what they were saying. That I was going to lose Kai, lose him forever._

_It was three ago that we sat in that room and now I sit in this one alone. I think I knew that in the end, that Kai would choose his own time to end it. His pride, the one thing he refused to give up. I know it's selfish but part of me wishes that I had had more time, for me that end came all to soon, but I also know why it had to be this way._

_In my mind he will always be the same man I first fell in love with. Brave and strong. Proud and intelligent. All I can say is that I am glad that we had our time together and that I promise I will never forget._

_Ming-Ming Pellow_

With a soft sigh she places the pen on top of the still open book she was writing in, dark eyes drift up and seem to regard the elfin face reflected in the mirror. But in truth she sees nothing of the girl in the looking glass, her eyes are dull and glazed and she's staring into her memory.

**FlashBack**

The room is quiet and still, sunlight streams through the open window only to be caught and trapped by prisms that send rainbow patterns dancing and skipping across white walls. Sparkling and brilliant, the light catches on the crystal clear body of the now empty syringe and the blood stained needle.

She stands in front of him, in front of his chair, trembling slightly. She keeps her eyes down, unable to look at him, afraid of what he may see in her eyes velvety brown depths.

He's sitting with his legs apart. He slides forward in his chair. The insides of his thighs touching the bare creamy skin on her legs just above the knee.

Her bright aqua-blue hair is captured in two buns on either side of her head, adding to the aura if innocents and youth that surround her. At first glance one would say she looked like a scolded child waiting for her punishment. They could not be more wrong.

All she could see was his abdomen, when he slid forward.

Her breathing was already slightly shallower, she found she kept holding her breath, as if she kept breathing then the moment would stop, or end. And though neither will voice it, more than anything they wish for this moment to last an eternity.

He brings his arms up and surrounds her with them. Hugging her to him, he could feel the heat of her through his shirt as he presses her body against him. Resting his head against her chest he can hear the rhythm of her heart as it speeds up, he smiles to himself as he hears that every so often she holds her breath. He smiles because he knows he's that he's causing it and also that he's doing the same. Never wanting her to leave his arms, enjoying the feeling of her in his arms. It feels as though there is no where else in the world she should be then right there.

She wraps her arms around his shoulders and squeezes him into her. She rests her cheek on the top of his head and closes her eyes for a moment. Thoughts of the two of them together doing the most mundane of things float haphazardly through her head as they stay like this for a few moments, both wishing that they would never let go.

Leaving her arms on his shoulders she leans back some so that she can look into his eyes. His arms still encircling her waist as he tilts his head up so that he can look up at her, his chin lightly resting on her chest.

Looking down into his beautifully soulful crimson eyes, she runs her fingers through his hair. Not saying anything, not finding the words to voice all that she feels in this one chaotic moment.

His hands start making their way up and down her back and legs. She can't help but smile at the feeling of his hands caressing her. She gasps slightly as his hands find their way under her skirt. Running ever so slowly up the back of her calves, leaving trails of tingles up her legs as he slowly runs his fingertips up the back of her knees.

She starts to feel her legs get weak and her knees start to buckle as she puts her head back, lightly biting her lower lip. She sighs contentedly as she leans against him for support. His hands rub the top of her thighs, slow as he hesitantly inches his way towards her ass.

She looks down to find he is watching her, he had been watching her reactions and loving the way she was responding to what he was doing. She smiles bashfully at him as his hands start to caress her ass lovingly. He offers one of his rare smiles as he continues to look up at her.

Her right hand comes up to his face, running the backs of her fingers down his face, marvelling at the contrast in colours, royal blue and snow white. Looking deep into his eyes she can't explain what she sees there. It's a mixture of emotions.

He brings his hands out from under her skirt as she pushes some stray hair out of his eyes, while watching his face.

He wraps his arms around her waist again, completely enveloping her as long acquainted desire to poses her entirely washes over him. The need to keep with world away from himself and his angel is almost overwhelming.

She looks from his eyes to his mouth, she runs her hand through his slate blue hair and leaves her hand on the back of his head as she lowers her mouth to his, touching his once soft sweet lips to hers.

She closes her eyes and they both inhale through their noses to keep from having to break the kiss. He tightens his embrace around her as she wraps both of her arms around his shoulders again.

They pull away and open up their eyes slowly. She sees his beautiful crimson orbs gazing at her. She can see it now, it's love peering back at her from the depths of his eyes. She smiles at him as she sees one starting to form on his lips.

She stops for a moment, for it's not just love she sees in his eyes, for even though he's smiling at her she can see a touch of sadness in his eyes.

Her smile doesn't falter, but inside it feels as if her heart may crack in two. She knows he dose not want to leave her but it's no longer his decision. She gives him a light kiss on the forehead and whispers, "I love you" to him.

A squeeze from his large arms and a soft sigh are his reply. With the hug she can feel the love for him radiating from her, she couldn't stop it if she wanted too. She felt her heart would burst from the love that she felt for him, a tear starts to form in her eye but she's able to blink it back. She finds his mouth in a desperate such for comfort and release. She want's to scream, that it's not fair, that just as she found him life was taking him away from her once more. Her love and pain swirl inside her making feel light headed.

I love you too he murmurs as they break apart from the kiss. He rests his head on her chest again and she rests her cheek on his head, for the last precious moments that they had together.

**End FlashBack**

Her eyes refocused, taking in the girl looking back at her. So controlled in her grief, she hates her so much. Ming-Ming viciously pulled her hair out of the tight note that bound it, seeking some brief comfort from the sight and feel of the silky strands caressing her face. She folded her arms on the desk and buried her face in the warm dark space they created. The last gut wrenching coarse of the song drifted through the cold air and seemed to pierce her heart. Ming-Ming sag softly along to the final words, her voice choked and heavy with suppressed sobs.

"You took my heart, Deceived me right from the start," She mumbled the words into the privet space her folded arms had made for her. "You showed me dreams, I wished they would turn into real, You broke the promise and made me realise, It was all just a lie," He had promised to stay with her, but now Kai was gone. "Could have been forever, Now we have reached the end," He had left her alone and she wanted to hate him for that but she couldn't.

The last strains of music faded away and the CD hummed softly and the clicked as it can to an end. The room still felt cold and grey and the only sound was of the rain tapping on the window pain. She wasn't aloud to cry over Kai, and that Ming-Ming felt was the cruellest thing of all.

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Lamb: Well there it is guys, my 50th piece of work up and posted. And it seemed fitting that it should be a fic about my baby the pairing of Kai/Mimi. 

**Muse:** as this is a special fic I'm going to be nice and not tell you what I really think about it.

Lamb: Uh, thanks I think.

_Dedi:_ So happy Christmas everyone and as before thank you to everyone who has/will review anything we've posted.

Please R and R as I'd love to know what you thought

Big luv see ya

Lamb


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